Marriage: the South's "Peculiar Institution"

Sometimes a picture - or a map - does speak more than 1,000 - or 10,000 words.

 Map of States prohibiting inter-racial marriage - 1965

 States that allow 1st Cousins to marry - 2012

2008 Presidential Election Results

God Admits Guilt As Serial Rapist

In a major legal development, God today admitted to being a serial rapist.

The shocking admission came in the case of 14 year old Sally Brighteyes, who was brutally raped while walking home from school earlier this year.

When asked why he came forward now, God commented, "Well, it was that Richard Mourdock comment.  You know he really called me out, and I got to thinking that I probably should fess up and take responsibility."

"Yes, it was my will,"  God said.  "But not just in her case.  There were 32,000 pregnancies from rape in the past year, and I was responsible for every one of them."
 

Prosecutors were at a loss to explain the unexpected development.  "I don't know what we're going to do," Prosecutor Margo Marsh said.  "I'm not sure we have personal jurisdiction.  And besides, how would we put God in jail?  If he can part the Red Sea, he wouldn't have any trouble parting those bars in our local jail."

The Prosecutor initially expected to call a Grand Jury next week, but those plans were delayed when the Prosecutor contemplated the nature of the proceedings.

"How can we have a proceeding where the witnesses have to take an oath swearing to the potential defendant?" Prosecutor Marsh said.

Mourdock Proposes Law Making Women Chattel; Men Will Make Decisions for Weaker Sex

Stating that it is obvious that women are not capable of making their own decisions, Indiana Republican Senate Candidate Richard Mourdock has stated that when elected his first act will be to introduce legislation once again classifying women as chattel -- that is personal property.

"In Biblical times, women were considered property," Mourdock stated in his press release. "It was God's will in those times, and God's will doesn't change," Mourdock's Press Release announce.

The bill will be co-sponsored by Republican Senate Candidate from Missouri Larry "Legitimate Rape" Akin.

"Women have shown they don't understand things.  They want equal pay. They don't recognize the differences involved in legitimate rape.  They don't appreciate the blessings of rape that results in pregnancy," the press release stated.

Mourdock further explained his basis for the proposed legislation.  "It's obvious that women are not mature enough to make their own decisions and need to have decisions made for them.  If I was raped and pregnant, I would certainly look at it as a precious gift and a miracle from God."

"I have believe we need a return to the system which was used for centuries and once again declare that women are personal property - chattel"

 Tina Fey's response: "If I have to listen to one more gray-faced man with a two-dollar haircut explain to me what rape is, I’m gonna lose my mind!”

No wonder Mourdock doesn't want women like that having control over their own decisions.